


A Conversation

by megthemewlingquim



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 06:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19847776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megthemewlingquim/pseuds/megthemewlingquim
Summary: One morning, Loki asks you about something, and you tell him with difficulty.





	A Conversation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SailorSun1998](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorSun1998/gifts).



> The reader has self deprecating thoughts here.
> 
> Don't ever be afraid to seek help for your anxiety and depression and self deprecating thoughts. There are people who are more than willing to help you.

"You haven't been sleeping, have you?"

You froze, your lips grazing the rim of your mug. Your eyes flicked upward, meeting the green eyes of your lover. He stared at you, curious yet... concerned. 

You set your mug down. "What?"

"You haven't been sleeping. You wake up at maybe three in the morning, and you stay awake for about two hours, maybe three," Loki said. "I want to talk to you about it, but I'm never sure if you're up for it at the time, so I don't ask."

You didn't say anything.

He leaned forward a little. "You can talk to me," he whispered, reaching over and grabbing your hand in his. He squeezed it.

"There's nothing wrong," you said.

Loki said gently, "I know you're lying. You're talking to the god of lies, my darling. But if you really don't want to talk about it, I won't force you."

He stayed silent for a couple of seconds, and you could tell he was waiting for you. 

You looked down, resting your head on your hand, your elbow on the table. You kept your free hand in his. "I've just been having some bad nights," you said quietly. You didn't want to seem angry at him (you weren't anyways). 

"Bad nights?" he asked, the gentle tone remaining in his voice.

"I just... don't feel well. Mentally. It's always at night." You spoke in short sentences. 

The gaze in Loki's eyes became sadder. "What do you tell yourself?" he asked. 

You looked up again. And your mind was suddenly thrown back very violently into last week's episodes.

Your eyes shifted downward yet again, and they became very hot. You were close to crying, and you knew it.

Loki knew it too. "Darling, don't -- don't cry," he said pleadingly. "It breaks my heart to see you cry. Just... if you don't want to--"

"My mind tells me I'm worthless," you interrupted blankly, still not looking up. Two tears fell from your eyes, one from each. "That no one cares about what I'm going through. Not my family. Or my friends. No one. Not even you.

"It tells me that I don't matter to anyone, and that everything I do in life won't mean a thing in the long run."

"Darling, look at me." Loki's voice was the softest you had ever heard it.

You sniffed. And looked up.

"I know what it's like to be told that," he said, blinking rapidly. "It was the worst when my mother died, but it was also when I found out about my heritage.

"Odin had raised me on the concept that the Jötun race was a disgusting, barbaric race. That they were monsters. When I found out that I am one of them, he tried to make excuses out of it. 

"I felt absolutely alone and empty and horrible about myself. I looked at my Jotun form with hatred and fear, and I still have not gotten over it.

"You should not feel the same way, for you are a much better of a person than me."

You stood up then, your chair sliding against the hardwood floor. You turned around as you walked to your left, put your hands over your face and breathed in and out.

"Do you doubt me?" Loki asked from behind you. He hadn't gotten up from his own chair.

"Loki, you're not going to convince me that everything my mind says is false. Not in five minutes."

"I don't intend to, love."

"Well, then, what do you intend to do?"

"I intend to convince you slowly, over the course of many days and nights and, if you wish, with the help of others. Professionals, even." Loki got up then, making his way towards you. 

"You don't have to believe those lies your mind tells you. People care about you, and they love you. I am one of those people."

He snaked his arms around yours, hugging you from behind. You tensed up, not knowing he was there. He shushed you gently, entwining your hands.

"You really are a wonder to behold," he says. "You're everything to me, and not just because of your looks. You're beautiful and sweet and kind and humble. But you have to learn to love yourself.

"I am here for you now, and I always will be."


End file.
